Gents,
I need to get something off of my chest that weighs very heavily, and it should weigh heavily. I always considered myself to be a good friend. The kind that you can count on in a pinch. The kind who's loyalty is unwavering. The kind who no matter what will be there when you need him. I'm sure that you guys don't think I measure up, and I can't blame you. I have taken all of you for granted in the worst possible fashion. I wouldn't have believed this of myself a week ago, but Kyrill's death has forced me to come to an understanding of things as they should be, not as I have rationalized them these past two years and probably my whole adult life. I apologise for being gone without communicating to you for so long. My heart is truly broken that I totally missed out on being with Dale, online or in person, and because of my stupidity, I missed any opportunity I may have had to comfort him. That is something I know I will live with the rest of my days. I loved him as I love you guys, with a love and friendship that is as real as time and distance can allow. My sadness at losing my close friend has impacted me in ways that I never imagined nor could I express them all here. They are too painfull.
So now what? I am asking for your forgiveness, and another chance to be a part of this wonderful group of people. Although I am unable to get the dough I need for COD5 at this time, I am hoping that you might reinstate me as a member. I make no promise to you except that I will not lose touch with you again. I'm still a computer challenged old fart who has trouble seeing the screen and hearing your voices...lol. But this old fart wants you to know that no matter what the Round Table decides, I won't stay away again. Life is not only too short, but friends are too precious to take for granted. I won't ever make that mistake again.
Sincerely,
MurfMan